No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
