I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
