why im i the only drunk person in the library?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
