if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
