You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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