i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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