She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Even my vagina gasped.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
