Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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