Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
