SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize