i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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