Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
