Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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