He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
