Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
