I want to stick my p in your. b.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
