I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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