I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
