I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
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