so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
