My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I have grass duct taped all over my body
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Randomize
