i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
