i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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