If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
