If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I could fuck to npr.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
