I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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