wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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