I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
