Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
