I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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