Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
