Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
