his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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