Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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