My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
