She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
