he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize