I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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