Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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