Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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