if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
