Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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