You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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