My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
