she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
