i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
