Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
