How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I supernannyed him into submission
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
