Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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