real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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