In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
