I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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