New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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