i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
