don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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