I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
