...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
