Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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