its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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