He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
